hey mamo!
so this is my last e-mail as a missionary of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. This mission has been a miracle in my life, and I wanted to send a poem that I wrote about my own life, i figured it would be the best way to send things off.
Changes: By Elder Fischer Bartley Summers
Born to a beautiful family forged stronger daily by the Gospel of God's only begotten,
his beginnings were overflowing with love, joy, fun, and peace.
Up he grew, once he could move he never stopped,
trampolines, bikes, scooters, sports, all things active, all things fun,
playing with the brothers, learning to live, laugh, learn, and love.
Changes, once an open pasture with a pond, now a house nestled into a forest,
once simply attending church, now baptized and a member of the Lord's kingdom.
Once on the sidelines watching his two beloved role models, now wearing a jersey and a number for himself.
Changes, once spending all the time at home, now friends begin to be included,
once total and loving care from his angelic parents, now independence, his own life begins to form.
Once only good, only beauty, only uplift, only support, but now... opposition is introduced.
Once, only one voice, but now, so many, screaming at him, pushing and pulling, wanting to be accepted, to be cool,
confusion, stress, not knowing, or understanding, yet he thinks now, that he knows best.
Changes, again, once a surety, once ease, once... obedience, now... confusion, strain...sin.
Once support, now they feel like chains and cages, confused and stubborn he lashes out, he doesn't understand.
Once openness, now he digs his problems in his soul, locks it and throws the key.
Once he let HIM in, once he felt it so much more powerfully, struggle, war, denial... pride.
Once real, now, he puts on an act, he still believes, but he thinks no one understands him,
he wallows in loneliness and indulges in empty happiness, sadness fills his soul,
but he just can't let him in... he just can't let him in, he can't possibly take this away, can a change happen again? Can it really? Can I trust him?
Yes...answers come, love comes, direction, identity, understanding of what I need to do, overwhelming truth,
he is there...he...is...here, I know it.
Once an emptiness, now an overwhelming emotion of care, I am free...I am free.
It is now as it once was, but 10 times stronger, light, joy, forgiveness, confidence, surety, purpose, a loving embrace, encircled with his love, strength, power, resiliance.
Changes, the transformation, the discovery of who I truly am.
Over 700 days of learning and applying, failure over and over molded me by the master's hand.
I am not who I was two years ago, nor will I ever be again, my true change has occured, my transformation.
I am now, who God needs me to be.
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